Alien Ape Men from the 4th Dimension!

Theories of the origins of Sasquach are a dime a dozen. Living in Washington State my whole life, I've heard 'em all. The theory of Bigfoot being an alien always seemed pretty unfounded and silly to me but perhaps I'm wrong.

I recently came across an eye-witness testimony of what a Seattle man believed was a Sasquach under alien control. Here's what Bigfoot researcher Peter Gutilla (who conducted the interview) relayed:

Few and far between.

"Under hypnosis he told of watching two UFOnauts descend from beneath a huge hovering disk-shaped UFO and walk casually into the woods followed by a tall, hair-covered ape-like creature that seemed subservient to them. For weeks preceding the experience the witness said he was often roused at night by a loud whirring noise that originated in the sky above trees near his home. Neighbors also heard the sound which was recorded on tape, and in one of the recordings a high-pitched wailing cry can be heard behind the drone of the sound-maker."


Sounds a little sweaty, right? Well, there has been reports of large flashes of light in the skies that correspond to Bigfoot sightings. In fact, some of those flashes have actually been in the woods themselves. This has lent to the theory that the Bigfoot is from another dimension. You heard me right, folks. Some say these flashes in the woods are them leaping through dimensional portals. It's a stretch, I know, but it would explain, not only their illusive nature, but also why you never see more than a few footprints at a time. 


Now, I haven't experienced either of those things nor have I ever spotted Bigfoot myself so I'm not going to discredit these. But, like I said before, it's pretty sweaty.


In other news, since when did I start using the word "sweaty" so much?